You enter a room

[DarthCaligula]

In front of you is an agry Narn with a metal baseball bat. What do you do?

[Sanfam]

I pick up my chair and attack him with it!

[Biggles]

I hit him over the head with my blaster!

[DarthCaligula]

The Narn only gets even more angry and hits you on the head with the baseball bat.
Biggles, he sees your blaster and hits your blaster hand with his baseball bat.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I hide under this table!

[DarthCaligula]

The Narn swings his bat and smashes your pathetic table. Then he swings it again and hits you in the nuts.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I'd throw you at the Narn and make my escape as it's devouring you.

[DarthCaligula]

Hey, I'm the GM here. I'm in charge. Escaping huh? Well as you're running you fall through a trap door and can feel yourself falling through a narrow passage until you finally land on something that breaks. The next thing you notice is that it's below freezing in the room and there are lots of ice sculptures in around you and a Minbari with a chainsaw carving more. He saw you fall on his naked Delenn ice statue and now he's pissed.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I use you as a shield against the chainsaw.

[DarthCaligula]

What did I tell you? I'm the GM, you can't use me as a sheild or anything else. Now that you've wasted your turn, the Minbari takes his chainsaw and chops off your right arm.
What do you do?

[Sanfam]

I use this table for cover and when the Narn gets close enough, stab it with my pen.

[DarthCaligula]

Your pathetic pen only makes the Narn even madder and he smacks you on the head with his baseball bat. You wake up later stripped naked in DownBelow. That's right, you're on Babylon 5, and the year if you want to know is early 2258.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I chop off your right arm with the chainsaw and use it to replace my right arm.

[Messiah]

I chop off Biggles new right arm.

[DarthCaligula]

Hey! What did I say? Now both of your arms have been chopped off by the Minbari! Wasting turns!
Well Messiah, you want in? Ok, you're trapped in the same room with the pissed chainsaw weilding Minbari, and now that Biggles isn't a threat, he's coming for you.
What do you do?

[Sanfam]

I stand up, naked, and look around for large, silver doors leading to the mess hall.

[DarthCaligula]

No mess halls in DownBelow, but you do find a bunch of homeless humans and aliens eating cooked rats on sticks.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I use the chainsaw to chop you into small, managable chunks, then offer them to the people eating rats.

[Sanfam]

I decide that this place is boring and resume my quest for The Stone of Zumbatek in the mess hall.

[DarthCaligula]

That's it Biggles, the Minbari has decided to finish you off before going after Messiah. He turns toward you and lifts up his chainsaw, then shoves it in your chest, you fall to the ground gasping in agony, but only for a few seconds as you finally die.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TRY TO RUIN MY GREAT GAME?!!!

Sanfam, as you walk through DownBelow, everyone looks at you and laughs because you're naked. You make it to a transport tube and the doors close, waiting for your order.
What do you do?

[Biggles]

I use this medical kit to heal my injuries, then begin practicing my ventriloquism skill.

[DarthCaligula]

You can't! YOU'RE DEAD! I'M IN CHARGE!!!

[Sanfam]

I burn into my mind the images of those who mocked me and command the lift to bring me the Stone of Zumbatek.

[Biggles]

I stage a coup, replacing you.

[Messiah]

Well, with the minbari busy chopping Biggles in half, I use my telepathic abilities to erase his mind.

[DarthCaligula]

Sanfam, your thinking doesn't do anything. The transport tube just sits there, waiting for you to say something.
Ok, Messiah, I'll say you're a telepath and that you mindfragged the Minbari. Now he's just lying on the floor, where he'll probably freeze to death. There's also various ice sculptures sitting around and Biggles's corpse lying on the ground as well.
What do you do?
And also NO YOU CAN'T BIGGLES!! NO YOU CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T!!!!!!

[Biggles]

I have you executed for crimes against the forums, as declared under Rule #9 (http://forums.firstones.com/showthread.php?t=7233).

[Sanfam]

I push the button that conveniently brings me to exactly where I'm most useful.

[DarthCaligula]

The button opens the doors back up and a bunch of people are there pointing at you and laughing. Then Thug #258 walks up to you and holds the doors open, he also has four other thugs with him, and they all have pickaxes. Then Thug #258 talks to you, "You wanna walk round this part o DownBelow naked, you gotta pay da streakin tax..."
What do you do?

[Sanfam]

I use my telekenetic powers to stun him, and then call upon my years as a daytime talk show host and forum admin/mediator to turn the other 257 thugs against him. I loot his corpse, taking his pick-axe and using it as a tool to search for more loot.

[Messiah]

Is there a door around?

Oooh, I search the bodies for treasure!

[Biggles]

I build several luxurious mini-mansions with the help of a foreign housing company.

Sanfam, you new pickaxe and the quantities of loot you find on the thugs give you the courage to take on the outer hull.

Messiah, you don't find anything. Sanfam's taken it all already.

[DarthCaligula]

Hey! I'm in charge here Biggles! What did I tell you?!
And Sanfam, by now it's clear you're delirious. Instead of being a telekinetic like you seem to think you are (YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT BEFORE!!!! NOW YOU CAN'T BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Thug #258 sees that since you're naked, you clearly have no money, so he has one of his thugs take off his belt and tie your hands, while another one takes off his belt as well and they proceed to parade you through DownBelow while whipping you. Everyone is laughing at you. Once they're done, they untie you and kick you into a pile of garbage, laughing as they walk away. Now your back is full of bruises and horrid gashes.
Messiah, you find that he's wearing Warrior Caste Minbari clothes, and he's carrying 300 credits, a den'bok (and you better know what that is!), some gasoline, and his chainsaw. And there are two doors at opposite ends of the room.
What do you do?

[Sanfam]

even if my telekenetic powers don't exist, I still have the raw mediating power dumped onto me by right of being who I am, so I think the rest of that battle should have gone otherwise. :p Also, I don't understand the motivation of these thugs. Why are they picking on an obviously naked and poor innocent when there are many others who are quite well clothed (and most certainly hiding something of value) around?

[Biggles]

Sanfam, you continue to ask these pointless questions of a deposed DM about events that have long since ended as you dig through the hull with your pickaxe.

[DarthCaligula]

They didn't want to listen to you, and didn't you pay attention? You had to pay the streaking tax. And you're still laying face down in a pile of garbage.

[Sanfam]

How would that treatment motivate me to pay the tax? And like I mentioned before, what if my character *liked* that sort of treatment?

[DarthCaligula]

What, my adventure too much for you soft-bellies?

[Messiah]

Well, I take the 300 creds, ant the chainsaw, and open the door behind me.

[Biggles]

What, my adventure too much for you soft-bellies?

Well, having deposed the former DM and taken over, there's really not much left for me to do but delegate responsibility for running this thing to Sanfam.

[DarthCaligula]

I'm the best. There's no stopping me.

[Sanfam]

My first order of business is to neglect this thread long enough for it to become retro chic, after which point I take credit for the advancement and turn it over to DarthCaligula (Who clearly needs to enjoy more danger theater)

[DarthCaligula]

Oh yeah? Well I could make references to things you don't get too!
Messiah, you walk through the door and it's still real cold in the hallway you've entered. It's really dark too, and you see some flickering lights at the other end and a humaniod shape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you do?